托福词汇之“friendly fade友好疏远”
古语说的好,天下事,分久必合,合久必分。我们身边的朋友有些会是一辈子的交情,有些可能会因为价值观的变化而慢慢疏离。在决定跟某个朋友分道扬镳的时候,有些人直截了当说明不想做朋友,有些比较含蓄的人可能就要通过慢慢疏远的方式。
Friendly fade is a passive-aggressive method to 'break up' with a friend without being hurtful. This method is NOT an abrupt process and can apply to just about anyone. Care should be taken when choosing this strategy:
Friendly fade是用消极被动但意图明显的方式来与朋友断交的一种方式,这样不至于太伤人。我们可以称之为“友好分手”。这种断交的方式是一个缓慢的过程,所有人都适用。使用这种策略时要注意几点:
-Take longer and longer intervals to return phone calls, text messages, etc.. and avoid making commitments. For ex: take a week to return a voicemail or a few days for a text. As the weeks go by, the lag between all communications gradually increases.
回电话和短信的间隔时间逐渐拉长,同时不要许诺何时回电话。比如:一个星期以后才回复语音留言,隔好几天才回短信。随着一周周的时间过去,你们的交流间隔时间也不断拉长。
-Never answer the phone if you see that person's number on your caller ID. Wait at least a week to return the message (unless it's an emergency), preferably via text.
有来电显示的话,看到对方来电一定不要接。要等至少一个星期才回(紧急情况除外),而且最好发短信。
-Avoid face-to-face meetings (like coffee or lunch) and make excuses to skip activities you both enjoyed previously (like going to the movies).
避免面对面交流(比如一起喝咖啡,吃午饭等),找各种借口不参加过去你们曾经一起都喜欢的活动(比如看电影)。
The goal is to gently un-friend that person at a kind and gingerly pace. It can be a very effective method for those averse to conflict or part of tightly knit groups. Over time, your feelings may change, and you may want to rekindle the friendship. With this method, you haven't burned all your bridges.
这样做的目的是用一种友好的,审慎的方式慢慢与对方解除朋友关系。这种方法对于那些不喜欢跟人起冲突或者想从某个联系紧密的团体中脱离的人会很有效。假以时日,你们之间的感情会发生变化。如果你想要重新拾起这份友情,也还有回旋的余地。
我们来看个例子:
After years of being told by her best friend that she needed to lose weight, Lizzie decided to do the friendly fade. She started by avoiding her phone calls, not replying right away to her texts, and making her invisible on her Facebook timeline.
连续好几年被最好的朋友提醒要减肥,利兹终于决定要跟她友好断交了。她先是不接电话,短信也不会立马回复,她的脸书更新也对这位朋友设成了不可见。