20分钟如何写出托福高分作文
现在很多网上流传的满分托福作文,大多是语言能力极好的英语老师,在充裕时间下(也许1个小时以上),慢功细活,逐步构建出的完美文章。其特征,经常是,每个分论点都清晰简洁的列在分论段段首第一句。分论点后接一句句法和单词都非常高大上的长难句。后面跟更多的高大上解释。但其实,想在考场上仅有的30分钟内做到这一点,即便是这些老师自己,也是非常困难的。
所以笔者的写作课程一直强调大家练习的,反而是写好简单句,和使用简单,但是准确词汇的能力。其实练好简单句,才是托福写作提分最速成的方法。所以近期会推出一个系列,就是笔者自己在限时情况下(20分钟左右),尝试解一些以前从未写过的题目。
Agree or Disagree:
A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.
高薪少假 vs. 低薪长假
Disagree.
Ideally, everybody’s dream job would be one that pays well and at the same time, has a lot of vacation time. However, in the cold, hard reality, we often have to choose between high salary and vacation time when we just enter the work force. I, personally, would choose the former.
To begin with, less vacation time would only be a temporary phase, but still a necessary one. I say that our final goal is to earn a lot of money, but simultaneously, have a lot of free time to travel, or to do other things that we want. But, how can we get there? The answer is that we still have to strive for it. We have to learn constantly, even after graduation. Many of my senior classmates, parents, relatives, and teachers tell me the importance of life-long learning. They would say that graduation is the starting point of life. So naturally, if you want to learn and grow fast, you should practice more, strive harder, and constantly reflect on what you are doing. To get more practice opportunities, of course, you should get a job that provides you with a stage.
Of the two kinds mentioned in the above statement, it is obvious that a job with high pay and less vacation offers you more opportunities to gain experience. Allow me to point out some simple facts. With a normal job, which starts from 9 and ends at 6, an employee works 8 hours a day, 40 hours per week, 2000 hours per year. With a high pay job, however, overtime is always expected. People with higher salaries often works from 9 to 10, or worse. Accordingly, these people might work 14 hours per day, 80 hours per week, 4000 hours per year, which is just equivalent to two people’s workload in a low paid job. In theory, the latter would grow and gain experience twice as fast as the former. What’s more, growing faster brings even more opportunities. Management always love young people with great potential and ambition, and thus would give them more opportunities and responsibilities. The rewards of choosing a high pay job is not linear in regards to the amount of time you invest. The rewards increase exponentially.
Based on the reasons above, I choose jobs with higher pay but less vacation time.
简单说一下自己这篇文章的写作思路。开篇中规中矩的开头段。上过强化班的同学都知道开头段的三要素:背景引入、改写题中观点、提出自己观点。笔者首先拿所有人的梦想中工作,所谓活少钱多型工作,做了个简单引入。第二句,使用简单副词However转折,随后立即引出并改写题中观点。最后第三句,简练陈述自己观点 – 高薪少假的工作更好。
通常在考场上时,由于笔者自身的展开能力较强,基本一个分论点可以轻松展开到180字以上。所以,在这样的情况下,可以不用仔细构思文章结构。因为知道即便不仔细构思,也不会出现一会写一半就没的写了的尴尬局面。所以这篇文章开头段写完以后没多想,直接在主体段陈述了自己的核心理由,也是笔者最想展开的理由:年轻人必须经历高薪少假的阶段。随后又提到开头段说到过的话题,我们所有人的最终目标是高薪长假。但我们并不能一步登天,而是要一步一步奋斗。
到这里,大家可以大致看清文章的论证思路了。我们在精讲精练班说过,主体段的展开,其实是一个因果逻辑链展开和证明的过程。基本上,任何的段落展开,其实都是某个逻辑链AàB的证明过程。仔细思考的话,不难发现,其实笔者的论证思路到这,逻辑链条已经清晰出现,即高薪少假的工作,可以带来高薪长假的工作。同时,由于这道独立写作题是个比较对比题,笔者还要证明的一个逻辑链为,低薪长假的工作,不能带来高薪长假的工作。
基本上,大家看第一个主体段会发现,笔者在论证的是,想得到高薪长假的工作,一定要奋斗。而第二个主体段在论证的是,高薪少假的工作给我们更多奋斗和锻炼的机会。多到什么程度呢?比低薪长假的工作多一倍。(2000小时vs. 4000小时部分)所以我们成长的也更快。
写到这里时,笔者又想到自己以前在会计师事务所加班的经历。通常加班猛的员工会得到老板的欣赏,因此也会被给予更多的机会和责任。所以便有了第二个主体段的第二个细节点What’s more的部分。这部分后来一共只写了50个字。这是因为笔者发现自己已经写够了近400字,所以觉得没有必要再进一步展开了。如果想进一步展开的话,这里最后完全可以再加一个个人经历的example来支持自己前面的观点。(高薪少假工作有更多的机会)如果真的是在考场上,时间已经所剩无几的话,那么此时就是开启结尾段之时。因此,后来直接all in all, 简单一句陈述结论:我选择高薪少假的工作。
不过最后同学们可能会有疑问说,老师,我如果展开能力没那么强,字数写了半天没凑够,那咋整?或者有同学会问说,老师,有没有一个操作性更强的方法?或者说是步骤化的方法?告诉我第一步该干什么,第二步,第三步分别干什么?第一个问题答案:练习展开能力。第二个问题答案依然是肯定的。
(实习编辑:莫颖)