托福独立写作三大雷区，注意避坑
不少同学在备考托福独立写作的过程中曾经走过弯路，最典型的就是疯狂积累和背诵一些高大上的句型表达，然后在自己的文章中花式运用，自认为交出了一份完美的答卷，然而分数出来却和想象中出入巨大，当场傻眼。
出现这样的问题，是因为你语言表达的运用能力还不够强！
语言表达是托福独立写作考评标准中的重要一项，虽然看起来要比文章逻辑、行文结构简单，但仍然是限制不少同学获得高分的关键因素。
今天，我会根据过往的教学经验和学生们实际练习的情况，针对大家出现的高频语言表达问题，逐一“扫雷”，同学们可以对照下方问题，进行自查和调整。
雷区1
空洞的“套话”
1.习惯性加空洞“套话”或官方语言
这样的内容，读者看完之后只会觉得不明所以，某些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何重要信息，完全可以删掉。
举例：When all things are considered, young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion.
这句话当中的"when all things are considered"和"in my opinion"都很多余。因为文章就是你自己写的，观点也是你经过考虑得出来的，完全没必要再去强调这个信息点，可以直接修改为：Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents.
举例：First, the professor offered a direct response to the first theory presented in the paragraph about...（综合写作中的分论点观点句）
以上句子中，浪费了很多精力和笔墨在引出分论点上，这大可比必，读者也会为这个迂回的表达方式感到困顿，所以都可以直接删掉。
2.套用空洞和繁琐的表达方式，导致句义啰嗦
举例：Due to the fact that TV advertising can cost a lot, many companies choose other ways of publicity.
以上"due to the fact that"就是一个非常繁琐的表达方式。可以修改为：Because that TV advertising can cost a lot, many companies choose other ways of publicity.
雷区2
重复论述
1.重复使用同样的或者意思重复的词汇
举例：The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size.
以上这句话，"large "对一个"farm"来说就是"size"方面的"large"，可以不用再重复"size"，所以"in size"可以去掉，修改为：The farm my grandfather grew up on was large；甚至有简洁的表达方式：My grandfather grew up on a large farm.
2.习惯使用单词即可替代的词组
举例：My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents’ farm.
这个句子中的"over and over again"就可以改为"repeatedly"，显得更为简洁，修改为：My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents’ farm.
举例：The development of science and technology makes people's life more and more convenient.
这个句子中的"more and more"就可以改为"increasingly"，修改为：The development of science and technology makes people's life increasingly convenient.
雷区3
语法结构不恰当
1.句子的主语和谓语动词，要反映该句最重要的含义
举例：The situation that resulted in my grandfather’s not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm.
从意思上来分析，上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是"grandfather’s not being able to study"，而在表达这个概念时，原句用的主语是"situation"，谓语动词是"was"，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，可修改为：My grandfather couldn’t study engineering because his father needed help on the farm.
2.频繁使用"there be"结构
"There be"句式是独立写作部分影响语言表达准确性的一员大将。很多同学特别爱用这个重点句型，但是使用这个结构出现语法错误的概率也是极大的，而且频繁使用还会使句子意思表达不够简练。
举例：There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather.
可以改为：My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day.甚至更简洁的句式为：My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily.
3.过度使用主从复合句的句型结构
举例：Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote.
可直接修改为：The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university.
总之，语言运用表达中，需要我们做减法，也就是要求我们用“最少的话”直接、精准、有效地表达句子的核心意思，不绕弯、不迂回。
细节决定成败，备战托福的过程中，请大家务必学会“精细化”，绕开“雷区”，扫除取得高分的障碍。
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